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tangential [24 Feb 2009|12:58am]
My Sharona is a creepy song! Why did I dance to it in my cow piece that time? I guess my cow piece was creepy. I wrote it while I was in love with three boys and I had no hair and I duct taped my own mouth a few times. Once the duct tape got caught in my hair as it was growing back, it must have been later in the semester, and I had to rip some of my hair out during the piece. I think people winced. I winced. That was the same semester I played a wolf-boy in that show. I was lost and pretending to know where I was and pretending to be something I was not. Sometimes, art imitates life. Others, life imitates art. Remember this, fellows!

I am feeling strangely vibrant, and most people are asleep.
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[22 Jan 2009|09:36pm]
just got back from dc. i'm totally wiped out. i can't even think about the thousands of things i have on my to do list.

i mean, i can think about them. actually doing them is a whole different story


that is a funny article on the oscar nominations


this is an article with the best picture of the obamas ever taken.

a dream, a dream, a dream come true.
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things i feel of the year [31 Dec 2008|11:39am]
2008 is a year i fell in love most truly. of course, i suppose each love is truer than the last, for we grow deeper and truer with each. without the past, we would not find our present.

i have felt great sadness and great success, great awkwardness great triumph, great heart-swellings and great emptiness, great confusion and great clarity, all in moments.

"do you know what i mean?"

i had a play i wrote go up, i had it produced for further workshopping, i wrote a second play and had people read it.

i began but have yet to finish learning my own process.

i learned that one must make their own way.

another thing i learned is this: easier to smile than to sour. for me at least. if you are the opposite, i don't have time.

i discovered my penchant for alphabetizing.

i graduated college! with one o them gold tassels.

i did not read enough, but i read some good shit.

i saw a lot more movies this year than usual. thanks, dates and netflix!

the 90s were sweet.

more stuff.

2009 will be: travel, writing, travel writing, cooking for myself, cooking for my friends, proactivity.
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[11 Dec 2008|12:06pm]
i am so, so anxious today. i cannot shake this feeling. just pure dread. knots in my stomach. it's been awhile since i have felt this way.
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[22 Oct 2008|03:00pm]
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[09 Oct 2008|05:58pm]
oh my goodness. mood swings. not only mood swings. productivity swings! identity swings! energy swings! tire swings!
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[07 Oct 2008|02:07pm]
an age of letters. heard that
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[06 Oct 2008|04:49pm]
talking with someone awhile about love. seeing a few pertainings on/about love. a morning, a night, an afternoon, a life to ruminate, posit, stew, accept, deny, mull over, affirm, ascertain, acquiesce, acquaint, acquire. know, not.

i have spent my last year learning love. i have learned much and i have much to learn.

last night i pulled out an old letter. i sent it maybe..well, perhaps 8 months ago. it was a very beautiful letter, a very mean one. i was perhaps very beautiful and mean at the time. for all i know, it was received and read. whether this is true, i will never know, and i never hope to.

i also pulled out a play i wrote, that i have been writing for perhaps 12 months now. it was and still is hopefully a very good play. i remember starting it under the guise of a person, adapting it in the fragmented haze of another, annihilating its worth after the hard hit of one more, and finally letting it rest neath the shade of a lamp, its dimly lit shadow casting a palor that read "inspired softly by No One."

i also watched "Pride and Prejudice" and shed a tear or four.

i don't know why love makes people so sad. i don't know why it makes people so happy. all i know is i am happy inexplicably now, where i was once sad and empty. and the Thing will ebb and flow as it has for all time. and i must not sit and wait for the time that comes (in gradual shifting, in absence, in fracture, in death) when so much loveliness is before me as i am now writing.
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something is happening [22 Sep 2008|02:40pm]
i have so many little things to do, tiny tiny errands and importances, and i must do them all at once, and i have a sunday free to do them.

what do i do instead?

i read an entire book. "the road." pretty amazing, but not on my to do list.

oh well!
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[18 Sep 2008|03:19pm]
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[10 Sep 2008|11:40am]
i am getting there.

i recently made a list, aptly titled "What I Got Goin." it is comprised of reasons why my life is sweet, career-wise. i compiled them upon completion of an event, aptly titled "My Worst Audition Ever." look on the bright side, i say! because otherwise, i just focus on the stupid stuff, and i don't wanna be forever wallowin.

and here's my list of whys and hows.

-Naked Angels: The beauties at this theatre company have offered Andrew Neispop and I free space for a month to further develop Peter. And I will also have a playwright mentor, one who is also a lady and who gets paid for what she does. This is heavenly.

-Tectonic: I will start reading plays for them soon! Not for money, but definitely for fun.

-In the past few months, I have applied for the HotInk Festival, The Soho Rep Writers and Directors Lab, and the Public Emerging Writers Group.

-I have been named Literary Manager of the Centrifuge (hee ho heh ha hoo). My first project will initiate in January.

-Soon I will start working with Reshmi on her NYTW Fellowship project.

-I am going to write myself a one-woman show.

-I might audition (and well, this time!) for The Bats on Saturday.

-I am writing songs with my dear friend AC

-I am helping to unearth the framework of a new something with some people.

It went from so specific to so, so vague! Such is life. I'm seeing Hairspray for free tonight, and then I have There Will Be Blood waiting for me at home.
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[08 Sep 2008|11:32am]
i am incredibly nervous about about about industry night auditions, auditions for a night which is only that, a night of industry. nights of my life have been more harrowing. industries can be rather industrious. i wish i could just roll around in studio five a little bit, do a voice warm up, do a cat, get in my body, feel comfortable acting. it's crazy but it's been awhile. i am a summer slob, and all i do is write. if that.

it doesn't help that i am jittery from too much coffee, or that tonight is also the first night of peter 2: workshop in a warehouse. in these times, i need marleen, or tina, or rain or kevin or lisa or richard, or paul. or i need meeeee to figure out how to do it without them.
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[26 Aug 2008|10:47am]
i have been mood swinging all morning. it all started, i am sure, with the very work-related and quasi terrifying dream i had last night. in my dream, a woman i work with was being severely beaten by her husband in a room adjacent to the one i was in, and as i explored the hallways looking for them and following their screams, i realized that we were not in a building, oh no. we were at the amusement park at coney island. and then all of a sudden, i was holding on to the outside of one of the cars of the ferris wheel, and being whipped around at a dizzying speed because the ferris wheel was not just the ferris wheel, but also the cyclone, and when i came down from the coasterferris hybrid, i saw clusters and commotions of people and i filtered through them and tiki torches to find that my employee and everyone i knew had disappeared, and then yael checked my bank account and i only had 18 dollars, which was a problem, but at least my roommates owe me $30 for the electric bill and the abusive husband owes me $150 for fixing lightbulbs.

so my morning has been up and down, and shifty sideways, whipping and zipping through various emotions. i feel stressed, then free, then morose, then elated then hungry, then sad, then giggly, then powerful, then meek, then industrious, then lazy, then beautiful, then flawed.

i suppose i am all of those things at once. i am a balance.
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[15 Aug 2008|02:48pm]
i'm starting a new blog in accordance with my intermittent snack emails.

if you are not familiar with these emails, i am going to start backlogging on the site.

the site itself is

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[13 Aug 2008|10:27am]
the poopsmith.
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[06 Aug 2008|11:11am]
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[03 Aug 2008|09:20am]
today, my brother and i are going on a road trip up to black canyon city. we will eat pie, ask questions to locals, take video footage, and find jack swilling's house.

it will forever be known as

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[29 Jul 2008|12:53pm]
it's weird having a salary job. also, it's weird that writers block isn't real but i make it so.

free your mind, and the rest will follow.
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[21 Jul 2008|06:02pm]
i'm seeing the dark knight toknight and i'm stooooked
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[18 Jul 2008|11:39am]
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